…the italians-a have-a the accent-a! (HAPPY C-DAY!)

They actually sound like that! It’s hilarious to listen to them try to explain directions (I’m a terrible person, but you knew this already). They’re also convinced that saying okay after every sentence, both yours AND theirs, makes everything clearer. News flash: WTF, no. Anyway, today’s missions were Pisa and Venezia. We were up at the crack of 7 am, dressed and breakfasted by 7:45, and out the door.

Driving to Pisa went smoothly, despite the fact I wanted to throw our GPS (which we named “Šefica”) out the window for repeating the phrase “Enter the roundabout” about 4 hundred times. Actually, this has been a recurring theme in Italy…there are roundabouts EVERYWHERE, DAMMIT. Anyway. All rage aside, it was a good drive. In other news, I squeed like a little fangirl upon seeing the leaning tower, and took an unnecessary amount of photos. Also, this being my family, we took a series of pictures playing with perspective. Sadly, my mother wouldn’t let me do one with me pretending to knock down the tower with my foot, yelling “THIS ISN’T MADNESS, THIS IS PISSSAAAAAA!” Why, you may ask? I was wearing a skirt. I was initially going to climb those stairs and make the tower my bitch, but the next tour was in 45 minutes. The reason why waiting wouldn’t have been awesome was the fact we actually had to drive to Venezia right after, and we weren’t to have lunch until we arrived. THEREFORE, food won. We left for Venezia, and managed to miss the turnoff for it because our GPS lied (i.e. the new stretch of the autostrada was not loaded to its map). So, while driving on the new stretch of gloriously smooth road, our GPS kept showing our little blue vehicle spinning in circles and driving on farmland. AWESOME. We then got caught in a freak downpour, making my dad infinitely more frustrated than he had been before, so we all shut up for a good 45 minutes.

**Imagination hint: to accurately imagine my father’s face during this episode of our trip, imagine me both pissed off at the rain AND unimpressed with technology, then superimpose that on my father’s face (also add another cm of eyebrow and remove most of my hair). FUN, EH?

We ended up not surviving the trip without food, so we stopped at a roadside grill and got paninis. Yes. More paninis. Christ, they’re delish. Later, we finally arrived in Venezia, parked our car in a giant garage and went on a WATERBUS. YES. A boat. That serves the purpose of the OC Translut. I don’t know if you will be nearly as entertained as I, but who cares? I played “I’m on a boat” for the entire trip, saddened by the fact I didn’t have a nautical-themed pashmina afghan. By the way, I apologize for the lack of continuity that is most likely present in a good 90% of these entries; I’m not exactly focussing on making this a literary masterpiece. That, and this is how I speak/tell stories, so you should be used to it by now.

Sidenote: I am totally wearing red and white today. Makeup included. Fuckyeah!

After a short break period in our sweet (read: ancient and ghetto) hotel room, we went out to investigate la Piazza S. Marco (or something to that effect) and get mauled by pigeons. Later, since we were starving, and saddened that we couldn’t swim in the bit of the Adriatic that touches the city, we went to have dinner. I ordered my fave pizza, con quattro formaggi, because I love cheese, dammit…and what I received can simply be described as pizza dough with a brick of Gorgonzola melted on top. To comprehend the sheer volume of melted cheese undulating (yes, undulating…it was unsettling) on my pizza, imagine the amount of sauce Eleni and I would EACH put on our pasta if we were serving ourselves, combine it, then dump it on a crust. Then sprinkle it with parmigiano. I’m not quite sure where the ‘quattro’ part came into play, but I will assume there were two other cheeses melted into the lake of Gorgonzola. I’m pretty sure that there was an entire ecosystem within that thing.

FUN FACT: I absolutely hated all forms of blue cheese until this trip?

OTHER FUN FACT: My brother has gotten nutella on every single pair of pants he has worn to breakfast.

HAH! Okay, so I remembered something entertaining from when we went to the Vatican: I saw this incredi-bro carrying a pink, flowery parasol as naturally as if it were a beer or something else brotastic (a football?). This was also right in front of St. Peter’s Basilica, making it exponentially more hilarious, for whatever reason.

Tomorrow morning, we leave for Zagreb, and leave touristing behind. Now comes the part of the vacation in which I make poor decisions, like drinking too much, eating shawarma before hanging out with people, and being way too forward. I’m super-excited. After Zagreb, it is time for me to reclaim the glory that is the Croatian coast. Ohhhh mannnnn. Just thinking about it makes me all warm and fuzzy. Man, I never realize how tired I am until I lie down. Frig. My alarm is set to 7 am again, so I’m off to catch some Zs (dumbest expression ever).

HAPPY CANADA DAY, ALL! I hope you had a wicked time and I want to hear all the stories after.

P.S. I bought myself a Murano glass necklace. It is so le pretty. And orange.